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Hello Doctor

by Gravy Train!!!!

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about

When Oakland, CA's Gravy Train!!!! pelvic-thrusted their way into the hearts of new wave nymphos everywhere last summer, they were out to channel the ladies of early rap, celebrate their fast food addictions, and score some cheap rimjobs and dog food. Their four-song CD "The Menz EP" (S.P.A.M. Records) was an instant cult classic, and with only limited record label support got them two tours with Bratmobile and rave reviews in Vice, Bust, the SF Weekly, and the SF Bay Guardian, among many others.

With their new album "Hello Doctor", Chunx (lead vocals, lyrics, vibrating grandma panties), Funx (Yamaha keyboard maestro, part-time dancer, anal beads), Hunx (Farfisa fucker, token dude, assless chaps), and Drunx (main fly girl, backup grunts, yard-long dildo wielder) have spawned the most grotesque good-time dance record since the Village People's "Sex Over the Phone". Too flaming disco to be hip-hop, too ugly to be "electro"-anything, the record was produced by Ikey Owens (Mars Volta) and John "Dairy Queeen" Nikki (ex-Primadonnas, Gene Defcon) and features hoetic waxings on cottonmouth blowjobs, burger abortions, bouncing titties and unwashed twatties over the kind of frenzied synth anthems that were used for car chase scenes in Corey movies. Making cameo appearances are Owens, Nikki, Chris Touchton (ex-XBXRX, Da Hawnay Troof), and Cyrus Comiskey (ex-Black Fork, Drunk Horse). Where "The Menz EP" was a more sonically sparse recording and used only drumbeats and keyboards, "Hello Doctor" makes use of organ, guitar, and sound effects for a richer, fuller sound. It was also recorded in an entirely different bedroom.

credits

released 18 March 2003

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Track Name: Titties Bounce
We wore the little pleated skirts and hiked them up to show our goods
Nuns beat hoes up with rulers as in line for cigarettes we stood
In sweater vests we learned to stay chaste and 'bout 'macculate conception
While at recess we read Hustler, compared means of contra

More, more! After kneelin' on the church floor
Sore, sore! After kickin' down the choir door
Tore, tore! Up the holy fucking sacrament
Whore, whore! Gravy Train's the living testament

Priests wanted to buy Funky cars but she said HELL NO
Nuns asked to cruise around in bars, Drunky said HELL NO
Altar boys followed Hunky 'round but he said HELL NO
The pope tried buying me a town but I said HELL NO

More, more! After kneelin' on the church floor
Sore, sore! After kickin' down the choir door
Tore, tore! Up the holy fucking sacrament
Whore, whore! Gravy Train's the living testament

Lemme see those titties bounce!
Track Name: Hella Nervous
Cuz you are long in the pants
Short in the weiner
Suckin' my muff like a vaccum cleaner
She doesn't have the titty
She doesn't have the asses
She doesn't have the thick-ass
Mexican thighs that I poss-ass
Track Name: Double Decker Supreme
Get down on all fours, open your back door
Don't it feel so goood with a lady and a doood
Boy get in the center, she'll take off your sweater
I'll take down your panties, dress you all in leather

I had a fantasy since I was nine
'Bout blowin' loads in a butt while loads are blown in mine
Don't blame me for bein' sick for dick
Sometime's it's titties that I wanna lick
I'm such a slut I've tried everything
I've choked down on six dix while eatin' Burger King
That ain't shit compared to what I've done
Once jacked off in a hot dog bun
So I got a idea, little boys listen here
Me and Hunx on you like cheese on a quesadilla
We're almost late for a 12:30 luncheon
It's your ass that we'll be munchin'
Kidnap your ass like it's Patty Hearst
Damn my dick is about to burst
Boy I know that your homework is due
But me and Chunx hella wanna screw

Get down on all fours, open your back door
Don't it feel so goood with a lady and a doood
Boy get in the center, she'll take off your sweater
I'll take down your panties, dress you all in leather

Two cocks one poosy, all three pretty juicy
More fire in my crotch than Danny Bonadoocy
Your mama looks like Tina Yothers
But I'ma eat you up like Sally Struthers
We'll take turns givin' ya head
You'll be the baloney in our Wonderbread
Stick your dick up in my coochie
I never thought I'd feel so bougie
I'll shove my nipples into your eyes
While Hunx hits your ass with a birthday surprise
I'm hungry, I'm randy and I just can't wait
I'm fishin' for sluts and usin' Chunx as bait
Playin' this game me and you together
Dress him all up like a daddy of leather
Pass the lube, the lettuce and the sour cream
It's time for a DOUBLE DECKER SUPREME!!!!
Oooh this dick tastes like shit
LICK THE CLIT! LICK THE CLIT!!!!
Oooh this clit makes me sick
LICK THE DICK! LICK THE DICK!!!!
LICK THE DICK! LICK THE DICK!!!!
Track Name: Kottonmouth BJ
Way back in '97 was a young blossomin' ho
Only given 'bout 8 blowjobs, never drank or smoked indo
Until one fine evenin', pages I was receivin'
Beginning to feel that old heavin' in my beave and
I whipped up a cocktail of cookin' wine
Nasty buzz kicked in and I was feelin' fine
But I needed somethin' spicy to give me a lift
A special magic cigarette went by the name of SPLIFF
And I went.

And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride
And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride
And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride
And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride

Sittin' talkin' shit about small dix with gnarly tips
I was a faded little bitch munchin' on chips and a fish sandwich
I'm kinda like a hotel, always got someone in my bed
This night was no exception and of course he wanted head
I reluctantly approached the tiny thing he had down south
Cuz I'm a filthy little slut, I like to take it in the mouth
I couldn't manage nothin' and that boner asked me why
I said, "You can't bone my mouth when my mouth is bone dry"
And I went.

And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide
And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide
And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide
And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide
Track Name: Burger Baby
Every time a hamburger looks into my eyes
I forget all of my sadness and the Happy Meal prize
Cuz I'm a starving motherfucker who wants much bigger thighs
Get so horny when a onion ring gets fucked by a fry
What can I do? I love you, I'd hump you, it's cool
I just don't care what they say (BURGER BABY)
Know what I'll do, I love you, I'll hump you, it's cool
And we'll be happy that way (BURGER BABY)
I'm the kinda lady who will get down and spread
Spray that shit all over me till Carl Junior is dead
Uh, the ketchup that is just paint my space titties red
And grab a condom so your condiments don't spill on the bed
Weepin' like a bitch one night I just couldn't stand it
Knocked up with a burger baby and I just hadn't planned it
Called up Smokehouse for cash, they said, "We don't understand it!"
I said "BURGER ABORTION I DON'T ASK I DEMAND IT!!!!"
What can I do? Can't kill you, I love you, I do
I'll just raise you as my son (BURGER BABY)
Know what I'll do, won't kill you, I love you, I do
And you'll be my only one (BURGER BABY)
Track Name: You Made Me Gay
I've got somethin' to say (what?)
I'm kinda gay (yeah??)
I like to get paid and have sex for days (no!)
So listen up ladies, I like guys and hate babies
If you get me real drunk I'll go for the junk in the trunk
You want me bigtime, I only want you minitime
But then I see Matt Dillon and I want it hugetime
You open up your lips and try to steal my doom
So I make a beeline straight to the menz room
I thought you were cute, I thought your ass was fine
But then I took down your pants and I said "NEVER MIND!"
Don't even try to play me bitch don't even try to front
You say that you want dong but I know you want wet cunt
And there you go, bein' all sick, are you stupid, girl?
of COURSE I want the dick!
Stop lyin', ho, you know that you want it
No I don't! Yes you do! Just admit it-admit it!!!!
You made me gay, girl
You made me gay, girl
Are you gay?
HAAAY, you ade me GAY
I thought you liked it that way!
Naw, bitch, I'm gay!
I thought you liked it that way!!!
No, ho, I'm fucking gay!!
You made me gay, girl
You made me gay, girl
You ain't gay! HAAAY, you made me GAY
STOP! jockin' me girl, why can't you see?
There's a million guys who are dyin' to screw me
I see how it is, Hunx, I don't give you a bona
When I'm through with your ass it will be in a coma
You have the ass, you have the titty but there's something
In my pants that makes me wanna go to the shitty city
But menz ain't got no pussy, they ain't got no vagina
I'm THROUGH with you gay boyz-drop outta mankind-a!
You got Willy Wonka up in your underwear
And I like honey cuz I'm a little bear
Well I only pursued you cuz I heard that you had girth
But now I wish your silly momma had never given birth
Go gay, girl, it's so much better
I like the cheese, yeah I like the cheddar
Your cock ain't nothing anyways I'd rather suck a dog off
And I'll just use a cucumber to get my fucking rocks off
There's so many girls and there's so many guys
It's hard to decide when I like chicken thighs
You're missing out on hot-ass humps cuz I spread legs like anthrax
And Kenny G-type blowjobs cuz I play a mean skin sax
For today go ahead and do me that way
But I made up my mind, silly ho, I'm GAY!
Well maybe I should change my ways and stick to only ladies
Cuz I hate shitty menz and I don't want shitty babies
Track Name: Gutter Butter
Stop the press! I'm so obsessed!
Gotta get this shit right off my chest before I stain my dress
So Detroit! We hit you, New Orleans! We hit you
Chicago we hit you but Oky there was something' with you
A sleaze assault! A chonky geez assault!
Baby please don't halt cuz this one wasn't my fault
I'm such a little ham I love a fool with a camera
But his game was a sham, I grabbed my ho from Alabama:
We take the stage, ready to rage
Movin' Oklahoma to the next ice age
There's a problem in the room and it's obvious as ho
There's a graying gnarlz man whose ass has gotta go
He's a tyranna chonky honky monky oldy balding chalky ponky scrawny hawnay
Punkay hairay fuckay lameay trollay
Cuz he's a freak, girl
Such a freak, girl
Yes a freak, girl
Yes a freak, girl
Back in Oakland nothin' better than some sloppy bed wetters
Makin' out while chewin' Cheeto cheddar, such go-getters
But my ho from St. Louie by the name of Julie Julie
Droppin' lines on your head quotin' what one bitch said:
I got some jujubes up in my cavities
It's you I'm gonna please, put your stomach at ease
With my treats, my beats, my big fat rhymes
Give you big fat thighs with the grub I supply from my teeth, girl, from my teeth
Heard what she say, nothin' wrong with Frito Lay
He had his heyday way back in Santa Ana
And Austin, remember-and Portland, remember
Madison remember when we went on that bender baby
We were on fire, Hunx turned into a liar
Funx blew Chunx and got higher, hope Drunx never retires
And OOOH! 'Bout to lick some of that shit
Up the slit baby, from all sides baby
Cuz we're freaks, girl
We're such freaks, girl
Yes we're freaks, girl
Yes we're freaks, girl
Yes we're freaks, girl