1. |
Johnny Makeup
02:10
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Toot toot! And a beep beep!
You're a coal miner's daughter who turned to the street
And with a toot toot! And a beep beep! You snorted two hot loads off of the bar seat
In Hello Kitty couture, always the man du jour I don't know what that means but I'm sure it ain't a bore
Tilly McEloise said she wants to take you to bed Ambush Makeover really gave you Hollywood cred
HEY JONNY JONNY D-DON'TCHA PUT AWAY YOUR MAKEUP (one two)
HEY JONNY JONNY IT'S YOUR WORLD THAT I WANNA SHAKE UP
(one two)
Hey Jonny you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey Jonny, Hey Jonny!!!!
Toot toot! And a beep beep!
A Dolly Parton tattoo, I talk to you in your sleep
It sounds like toot toot! And a beep beep!
It's like Easter in your pants and everyone wants a Peep
Ya little label slut, you make the tabloids nuts But if they only knew you couldn't rape a donut
Kiehl's gift bag, what fancy schmancy schwag
But it's that Broadway voice that really makes me gag yeah
HEY JONNY JONNY D-DON'TCHA PUT AWAY YOUR MAKEUP (one two)
HEY JONNY JONNY YOU'RE A DREAM AND I DON'T WANNA WAKE UP (one two)
I'm really really goin' through it
so when are we gonna do it
I grew out all my pubes trying to look like a dude
in hopes that you'd someday screw it
I'm reading out like I'm Levar Burton but that's only 'cause I'm really hurtin'
Beyonce of V.I.P. I wanna be your wifey
'cause when you're flirtin' Gravy Train!!!! is squirtin'!!!!
I'm living! I'm gagging!
You're screening! I'm reading!
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2. |
Darque Tan
02:01
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His life was a breeze Just one thing left to appease Wanna give that bottle a squeeze and look just like Charlize? But these times are so hard Must do more than lay in the yard To look like a Belize postcard or a reality star But this story's tragic You don't turn orange by magic You could do it solar like Rick or stick your ass in a thick tank full of darque waves cuz it's the latest craze Do it for forty days, get accused of wearing blackface -oh! DARQUE TAN, HE'S A FAN! DARQUE TAN, NO MORE WAN!! DARQUE TAN, IT'S HIS PLAN!!! DARQUE TAN, CHILDREN RAN!!!! I knew it was a bad idea when he got into that bed I never knew it would come to this 'til he looked at me and said I wanna get a tan! Uh-uh!! I wanna get a tan!! Bad idea!!! I wanna get a tan!!! I don't think so!!!! I wanna get a tan!!!! TOO SCARY!!!! [Repeat chorus] And now he's dead, I'll never see him again He turned orange, and then red No one wins in the end Then he died, his face was fried in the booth all that's left is a tooth He turned red, and then he turned dead Listen and learn...or you, too, will be burned.
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3. |
Stop The Wedding
02:24
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A-well I met this guy sometime last May I heard he was hung and a machine gun lay But I musta been drunk, I musta been busy Musta been watchin tapes of old MacGuyver or Richard Bey IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO THIS MATRIMONY YOU BETTER BAG THE BAD TUX AND JUST RIDE MY PONY AND ALL YOU BAD FUCKS OUT THERE DON'T YOU TRY TO BONE ME I ONLY WANTED A PIECE OF THAT FRIED BALONEY-ONEY FIRST I DID SOME JUMPING JACKS AND I SAW IT IN HIS PANTS HE SAID DAMN I LIKE YOUR RACK -- I MEAN, YOU CAN REALLY DANCE!!!! BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE RUNNING MAN I THOUGHT THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING SOFT THEN HE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SAID HEY! THE WEDDING'S OFF!!! And so that guy I had just met last May He saw my cameltoe then canceled the wedding day In a leotard made of the finest gold lame At his bachelor party guess who popped right outta the cake? [Repeat chorus]
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4. |
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I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I met her at a party and thought she was kinda nice (HEY!)
I asked her to the movies and I started to think twice (HEY!)
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I said you my baby
You must be a first
You wont eat my sniz, ha
When I'm on the RAAAGG!
I said you my baby
I'm havin a SPAZM!
When I wrote that shizt
You posted unn
ggggggggggggg
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you.
I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get
Wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get
Wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna wanna get rid of you
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5. |
Bloopies (Skit)
00:41
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[Ringing]
hello bloopies
BLOOPY! what happened last night?
how far'd ya get?
did ya fuck him?
wellllll
i was feeling kind of greeen
then uh we moved our pants
uh huh
and then well
well what?
one thing led to another and we decided to execute a piiiigggie!
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6. |
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And I was feelin kinda gdeen so I took off my pants and I did the thingy [repeat] Had a funny feeling your dong was quite appealing so down came my pants Reached into my beaver and made you a believer in the latest forbidden dance I saw him in a magazine I wanted to rip off his clothes and tell him something First you stick it in then you wiggle about Follow my steps I'm gonna turn yins out When I wanna screw I put on something blue from 1979 When I'm feeling gdeen there's only one thing that can turn me on more Feel the power, jump in the shower I'm gonna fuck you in outer space Can you believe how gdeen this is We can do it all over the place Feelin kinda gdeen so I took off my pants and I did the thingy [repeat] C'mon everybody, DO THE THINGY!!!! SO GDEEN!!! MY PANTS!!!! A dooey dooey doo yeah-ha-ha...
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7. |
Ghost Boobs
02:04
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Gazoyngas aplenty Back pains she had many For such knockers hooters funbags boys were not even ready She could hold your beer Without hands she could steer Smack a grown man in the face so hard he'd shed a few tears cuz they were GHOST BOOBS OOH YOU HARDLY KNEW ME GHOST BOOBS OOH WE HARDLY KNEW YE [repeat] It was a fad diet, she had to try it Chrissy Snow looked pretty hot so Thighmaster just buy it A paid membership at the bulldyke gym cuz her boyfriend likes Sue Powter so why not impress him? What she didn't foresee is that her twiddles would flee Her thighs and gut both stayed the same but now she could see her knees Her boyfriend did weep, he thought her twiddles would keep but they didn't know that they would come back in her sleep cuz they were [Repeat chorus] I thought I was fat so I went on a diet If I knew they'd split I would never have tried it
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8. |
Hump Lites
01:34
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Well I wanna get in the whole worlds pants and when my beavers hungry preemies ain't got a chance I turn it out in granny glasses and hotpants and my digs are decked out for statutory romance WITH HIM EVERY NITE I WANNA ROCK OUT WITH HIM EVERY NIGHT I WANNA ROCK OUT WITH HIM EVERY NITE UNDER THE HUMP LITES OH YEAH HUMP LITES OH YEAH etc. Well they call me your grandma cuz I'm two-hundred-and six but I got a lollipop you know you wanna lick I'll bounce up and down on the preemie trampoline and shake my pom-poms cuz I'm Chunky Superteen [Repeat chorus] Cuz I am your grandma She is your grandma!!! x8
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9. |
Pussy Sauce
01:58
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Your pussy sauce baby tastes so good, oh yeah! Your pussy sauce baby tastes so bad, oh no!!! Your pussy sauce baby tastes all right, ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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10. |
Nudies From The Road
02:04
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You're so far oh but here we are down at Cracker Barrel or in Londonderry Like the Simple Life the country ain't my type but I learned to like it cuz I'm a star [she's a star!] You like Mambas well I got a combo of horny boobs ooh and shitlegs too I been around the world but you're my favorite girl and I'm takin you to Niagara Falls -- whoo!!!! I'LL SEND YOU NUDIES FROM THE ROAD AND YOU'RE GONNA BLOW YOUR LOAD x2 I'm on tour and I got a cold sore but I want you to be here in person to see er The next best thing is to get chicken wings and lay em on my naked bawdaymm [b-babaaam] Gotta get over gay boys seein my beaver It's like fuckin a bear and bein worried bout hair I got a polaroid, you wanna see my roids? I'll even let you show all your friends [my friends] [Repeat chorus] What kinda poses do you wanna see on me -- spread eagz? I said what kinda beavies do you wanna see on me -- seventies?? Why oh why you givin me the eye Did you happen to see nakey pix of me on the internet? How stupid can I get? Well -- just enough to show you my labes!! [ Repeat first verse]
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11. |
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We've been here too long, trying to get along Pretending that you did not blow But you did us wrong So we wrote this song Your business must be going slow in maternity pants a girl can hardly dance Junx was easy as 1-2-3 We traveled round the globe in Hugh Hefner robes While you were watching Court TV WE JUST GOTTA GET OUT WE JUST GOTTA GET OUTTA BATWIDDICALS BABY [repeat] There's more to life than Twiddies livin in the city There wasn't much room in there We didn't mean to hurt you But you lost your virtue That look is just Hunxes hair stare You lost all your luster Give Funx her Dustbuster She needs to vacuum her new place You haven't given it back yet cuz you're a wacko crackhead I'll punch ya square in the face!! [Repeat chorus]
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