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Hello Doctor

by Gravy Train!!!!

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Deluxe reissue of "Hello Doctor" newly mastered for vinyl. Includes a bonus 7" of the "Ghost Boobs" EP. "Hello Doctor" is pressed on lime green wax and "Ghost Boobs" on pepto-pink vinyl.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Hello Doctor via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 1000  11 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $30 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

1.
We wore the little pleated skirts and hiked them up to show our goods Nuns beat hoes up with rulers as in line for cigarettes we stood In sweater vests we learned to stay chaste and 'bout 'macculate conception While at recess we read Hustler, compared means of contra More, more! After kneelin' on the church floor Sore, sore! After kickin' down the choir door Tore, tore! Up the holy fucking sacrament Whore, whore! Gravy Train's the living testament Priests wanted to buy Funky cars but she said HELL NO Nuns asked to cruise around in bars, Drunky said HELL NO Altar boys followed Hunky 'round but he said HELL NO The pope tried buying me a town but I said HELL NO More, more! After kneelin' on the church floor Sore, sore! After kickin' down the choir door Tore, tore! Up the holy fucking sacrament Whore, whore! Gravy Train's the living testament Lemme see those titties bounce!
2.
Cuz you are long in the pants Short in the weiner Suckin' my muff like a vaccum cleaner She doesn't have the titty She doesn't have the asses She doesn't have the thick-ass Mexican thighs that I poss-ass
3.
Get down on all fours, open your back door Don't it feel so goood with a lady and a doood Boy get in the center, she'll take off your sweater I'll take down your panties, dress you all in leather I had a fantasy since I was nine 'Bout blowin' loads in a butt while loads are blown in mine Don't blame me for bein' sick for dick Sometime's it's titties that I wanna lick I'm such a slut I've tried everything I've choked down on six dix while eatin' Burger King That ain't shit compared to what I've done Once jacked off in a hot dog bun So I got a idea, little boys listen here Me and Hunx on you like cheese on a quesadilla We're almost late for a 12:30 luncheon It's your ass that we'll be munchin' Kidnap your ass like it's Patty Hearst Damn my dick is about to burst Boy I know that your homework is due But me and Chunx hella wanna screw Get down on all fours, open your back door Don't it feel so goood with a lady and a doood Boy get in the center, she'll take off your sweater I'll take down your panties, dress you all in leather Two cocks one poosy, all three pretty juicy More fire in my crotch than Danny Bonadoocy Your mama looks like Tina Yothers But I'ma eat you up like Sally Struthers We'll take turns givin' ya head You'll be the baloney in our Wonderbread Stick your dick up in my coochie I never thought I'd feel so bougie I'll shove my nipples into your eyes While Hunx hits your ass with a birthday surprise I'm hungry, I'm randy and I just can't wait I'm fishin' for sluts and usin' Chunx as bait Playin' this game me and you together Dress him all up like a daddy of leather Pass the lube, the lettuce and the sour cream It's time for a DOUBLE DECKER SUPREME!!!! Oooh this dick tastes like shit LICK THE CLIT! LICK THE CLIT!!!! Oooh this clit makes me sick LICK THE DICK! LICK THE DICK!!!! LICK THE DICK! LICK THE DICK!!!!
4.
Way back in '97 was a young blossomin' ho Only given 'bout 8 blowjobs, never drank or smoked indo Until one fine evenin', pages I was receivin' Beginning to feel that old heavin' in my beave and I whipped up a cocktail of cookin' wine Nasty buzz kicked in and I was feelin' fine But I needed somethin' spicy to give me a lift A special magic cigarette went by the name of SPLIFF And I went. And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride And I was smoke smoke smokin' just to hit my stride Sittin' talkin' shit about small dix with gnarly tips I was a faded little bitch munchin' on chips and a fish sandwich I'm kinda like a hotel, always got someone in my bed This night was no exception and of course he wanted head I reluctantly approached the tiny thing he had down south Cuz I'm a filthy little slut, I like to take it in the mouth I couldn't manage nothin' and that boner asked me why I said, "You can't bone my mouth when my mouth is bone dry" And I went. And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide And I was suck suck suckin' on the Astroglide
5.
6.
Burger Baby 01:49
Every time a hamburger looks into my eyes I forget all of my sadness and the Happy Meal prize Cuz I'm a starving motherfucker who wants much bigger thighs Get so horny when a onion ring gets fucked by a fry What can I do? I love you, I'd hump you, it's cool I just don't care what they say (BURGER BABY) Know what I'll do, I love you, I'll hump you, it's cool And we'll be happy that way (BURGER BABY) I'm the kinda lady who will get down and spread Spray that shit all over me till Carl Junior is dead Uh, the ketchup that is just paint my space titties red And grab a condom so your condiments don't spill on the bed Weepin' like a bitch one night I just couldn't stand it Knocked up with a burger baby and I just hadn't planned it Called up Smokehouse for cash, they said, "We don't understand it!" I said "BURGER ABORTION I DON'T ASK I DEMAND IT!!!!" What can I do? Can't kill you, I love you, I do I'll just raise you as my son (BURGER BABY) Know what I'll do, won't kill you, I love you, I do And you'll be my only one (BURGER BABY)
7.
I've got somethin' to say (what?) I'm kinda gay (yeah??) I like to get paid and have sex for days (no!) So listen up ladies, I like guys and hate babies If you get me real drunk I'll go for the junk in the trunk You want me bigtime, I only want you minitime But then I see Matt Dillon and I want it hugetime You open up your lips and try to steal my doom So I make a beeline straight to the menz room I thought you were cute, I thought your ass was fine But then I took down your pants and I said "NEVER MIND!" Don't even try to play me bitch don't even try to front You say that you want dong but I know you want wet cunt And there you go, bein' all sick, are you stupid, girl? of COURSE I want the dick! Stop lyin', ho, you know that you want it No I don't! Yes you do! Just admit it-admit it!!!! You made me gay, girl You made me gay, girl Are you gay? HAAAY, you ade me GAY I thought you liked it that way! Naw, bitch, I'm gay! I thought you liked it that way!!! No, ho, I'm fucking gay!! You made me gay, girl You made me gay, girl You ain't gay! HAAAY, you made me GAY STOP! jockin' me girl, why can't you see? There's a million guys who are dyin' to screw me I see how it is, Hunx, I don't give you a bona When I'm through with your ass it will be in a coma You have the ass, you have the titty but there's something In my pants that makes me wanna go to the shitty city But menz ain't got no pussy, they ain't got no vagina I'm THROUGH with you gay boyz-drop outta mankind-a! You got Willy Wonka up in your underwear And I like honey cuz I'm a little bear Well I only pursued you cuz I heard that you had girth But now I wish your silly momma had never given birth Go gay, girl, it's so much better I like the cheese, yeah I like the cheddar Your cock ain't nothing anyways I'd rather suck a dog off And I'll just use a cucumber to get my fucking rocks off There's so many girls and there's so many guys It's hard to decide when I like chicken thighs You're missing out on hot-ass humps cuz I spread legs like anthrax And Kenny G-type blowjobs cuz I play a mean skin sax For today go ahead and do me that way But I made up my mind, silly ho, I'm GAY! Well maybe I should change my ways and stick to only ladies Cuz I hate shitty menz and I don't want shitty babies
8.
9.
Stop the press! I'm so obsessed! Gotta get this shit right off my chest before I stain my dress So Detroit! We hit you, New Orleans! We hit you Chicago we hit you but Oky there was something' with you A sleaze assault! A chonky geez assault! Baby please don't halt cuz this one wasn't my fault I'm such a little ham I love a fool with a camera But his game was a sham, I grabbed my ho from Alabama: We take the stage, ready to rage Movin' Oklahoma to the next ice age There's a problem in the room and it's obvious as ho There's a graying gnarlz man whose ass has gotta go He's a tyranna chonky honky monky oldy balding chalky ponky scrawny hawnay Punkay hairay fuckay lameay trollay Cuz he's a freak, girl Such a freak, girl Yes a freak, girl Yes a freak, girl Back in Oakland nothin' better than some sloppy bed wetters Makin' out while chewin' Cheeto cheddar, such go-getters But my ho from St. Louie by the name of Julie Julie Droppin' lines on your head quotin' what one bitch said: I got some jujubes up in my cavities It's you I'm gonna please, put your stomach at ease With my treats, my beats, my big fat rhymes Give you big fat thighs with the grub I supply from my teeth, girl, from my teeth Heard what she say, nothin' wrong with Frito Lay He had his heyday way back in Santa Ana And Austin, remember-and Portland, remember Madison remember when we went on that bender baby We were on fire, Hunx turned into a liar Funx blew Chunx and got higher, hope Drunx never retires And OOOH! 'Bout to lick some of that shit Up the slit baby, from all sides baby Cuz we're freaks, girl We're such freaks, girl Yes we're freaks, girl Yes we're freaks, girl Yes we're freaks, girl

about

When Oakland, CA's Gravy Train!!!! pelvic-thrusted their way into the hearts of new wave nymphos everywhere last summer, they were out to channel the ladies of early rap, celebrate their fast food addictions, and score some cheap rimjobs and dog food. Their four-song CD "The Menz EP" (S.P.A.M. Records) was an instant cult classic, and with only limited record label support got them two tours with Bratmobile and rave reviews in Vice, Bust, the SF Weekly, and the SF Bay Guardian, among many others.

With their new album "Hello Doctor", Chunx (lead vocals, lyrics, vibrating grandma panties), Funx (Yamaha keyboard maestro, part-time dancer, anal beads), Hunx (Farfisa fucker, token dude, assless chaps), and Drunx (main fly girl, backup grunts, yard-long dildo wielder) have spawned the most grotesque good-time dance record since the Village People's "Sex Over the Phone". Too flaming disco to be hip-hop, too ugly to be "electro"-anything, the record was produced by Ikey Owens (Mars Volta) and John "Dairy Queeen" Nikki (ex-Primadonnas, Gene Defcon) and features hoetic waxings on cottonmouth blowjobs, burger abortions, bouncing titties and unwashed twatties over the kind of frenzied synth anthems that were used for car chase scenes in Corey movies. Making cameo appearances are Owens, Nikki, Chris Touchton (ex-XBXRX, Da Hawnay Troof), and Cyrus Comiskey (ex-Black Fork, Drunk Horse). Where "The Menz EP" was a more sonically sparse recording and used only drumbeats and keyboards, "Hello Doctor" makes use of organ, guitar, and sound effects for a richer, fuller sound. It was also recorded in an entirely different bedroom.

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released March 18, 2003

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